Ramblings and Memoirs

   My dad used to tell me that he regretted some things he did/didn't do when I was a kid.  I could never figure this out.  Dad was a very attentive father, I had no doubt that he loved me and wanted what was best for me.  We had our battles, but we always managed to make up, and I never hated him for anything.  So, I just couldn't understand.
   Now that I have my own son, I am beginning to understand.  Sometimes, believe it or not, Keltan will have a rough night, and things won't always be agreeable to him.  It is at these times that my patience grows short (now there's a stretch!).  I spend the next day feeling horrible, and feeling that I have failed, and make the determination that I must handle the situation differently.
   Lately, I have been reading "Uncommon" by Tony Dungy.  In his chapter named "Fatherhood," he addresses this very issue.  "Just because you've erred doesn't mean you're out of the running to be a good dad.  The Bible wasn't written for those who have it figured out, but instead it is God's word to those of us who are muddling through life.  We must remember that 'all have sinned and fall sort of the glory of God,' but we have been given the freedom through Christ to forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead as we 'press on to reach the end of the race.'"
   As I read this, I realized that, fortunately for me, I don't have to be perfect every time, everyday.  I just have to recognize where I messed up and strive to improve.  But, it is easier to realize this than it is to embrace it and live it!  
   
   A story on the bright side:
   I also read this in the same book and chapter, "When was the last time you did something really silly with or in front of your children?  When was the last time you did something totally unexpected and spontaneous that your children remember to this day?  Like jumping the swimming pool with your clothes on, or 'accidentally' spraying whipped cream all over your face, starting a pillow fight in the bedroom, or splashing in the puddles after a summer rain?"
   This brings to mind a story I have always remembered, and one that brings out the character in my dad.  I don't recall how old I was, but I would guess 5 - 7 years old.  When we traveled on vacation, Dad did not like to stop at a hotel early enough that we could use the pool.  For some reason, this particular time we were at a hotel and the pool was open.  My brother and I were in the pool enjoying ourselves, when suddenly, out of nowhere, here comes my father at a sprint, leaping into the air, and landing with a "SPLASH" in the pool!  To make it more interesting, he was fully clothed.  We thought this was pretty crazy!  Then it was discovered, much to our delight, that he had forgotten to remove his wallet from his pants!  


   I would love to pull these rambling thoughts together and make some grand ending to this blog posting, but I don't know that I will be able to do that.  I do know, however, that I had a wonderful example at being a father.  I do know that I miss him, and I hope and pray that Keltan will be able to look back on his childhood and know that, despite my shortcomings and my errors, I have loved him and intended only good for him.


   One more thing to end with....One thing I recall and miss so greatly about Dad is the huge hugs!  Whenever we met - at his house, my house, a restaurant, wherever - Dad always had a huge hug for me. When Keltan runs into my arms and I give him a big bear hug, I remember how great it felt to get a warm hug from my dad.